You still love them. As stated above, you have every right to say no to friendship. In the moment, your ex may crave your comfort, but at the end of the day your support is unlikely to help them move on if they continue to feel dependent on you. People see what they want to see, and rest assured they will be on high alert for any sign of returned affection. This is especially true, not surprisingly, for former partners who were dissatisfied with the romantic relationship , and in cases when the break-up was not mutual. Anger , jealousy , obsessiveness, and need for control all predicted greater stalking behavior, so beware of these traits. Needless to say, this approach is unfair to your ex, but it can hold you back as well.
If your ex doesn't want to be with you, there is probably little you can do to change their mind. Trying in vain will only lead to repeated heartbreak and make you feel bad about yourself. If you initiated the break-up and your ex is not taking it well, the last thing you probably want to do is hurt them even more by rejecting their friendship. As I wrote in a previous post, playing it safe is not always the best approach when it comes to love. Sometimes you have to close one door, and close it fully, if you want another door to open. You want to keep them on the back burner. Instead of shouldering the burden yourself, make sure they are getting support from other people in their life. They still love you. In the moment, your ex may crave your comfort, but at the end of the day your support is unlikely to help them move on if they continue to feel dependent on you. Needless to say, this approach is unfair to your ex, but it can hold you back as well. And it is surprisingly common. You want to keep tabs on them. So make sure you are being honest with yourself about what your true intentions are. You have a right to spend time with your friends without your ex present, and you also have a right to decline invitations to events that your ex is also attending. You still love them. Here are 10 reasons that can get you into trouble: Ulterior motives can be sneaky, though—our minds have ways of disguising them as more innocent aims. Anger , jealousy , obsessiveness, and need for control all predicted greater stalking behavior, so beware of these traits. Are there any good reasons to stay friends with your ex? As stated above, you have every right to say no to friendship. Research suggests, however, that on average exes tend to have lower-quality friendships than opposite- sex friends who were never romantically involved. People see what they want to see, and rest assured they will be on high alert for any sign of returned affection. If you have trouble resisting it, you may be better off de-friending your ex, both on and offline. Staying friends may allow you to stay in the loop about their dating life and even give you some influence over it—a tempting prospect. Adding the ex to the mix when your relationship is already in a complicated spot is only likely to complicate things further. Many former couples, whether dating partners or spouses , try to remain friends after a break-up, and some are able to manage this transition successfully.
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