What is holding me back? The girl who is so independent, so strong, so willed. Or so they think. But at the same time I know that not everything needs to be explained. This fear halted me in more ways than I ever realized. My ego is beyond damaged. Not everything needs to be known.
Sometimes I even wonder how I am able to survive. I could have been more patient. I can hardly breathe. When I am ready to get back on the horse I have a better idea of what I am looking for. I am fine on the outside. This moment feels great and this life lesson that I gained is all worth the heart-break. The girl who can find someone else, someone better, always. I could have done this and done that. I learned a lot about myself through that relationship and the down fall of it. I find the sight of food revolting. My ego is beyond damaged. You are not alone. Maybe I deserve this. I wish I was as strong as everybody thinks I am. How could all this be happening? I am the girl who can get through anything. These edges poke at me from the inside every time I move. My hands are shaking as I type this. All there is really, is to accept. I have my chin held high, my mouth in a coy smile. The most beautiful thing about being single again is that I can take the time to readjust and reevaluate my friendships, and because I was through hell and back with my broken heart, I discovered that friends and family are there for me and discovered hard truths about my other friends. Is this even real? Unfortunately, when I had it, I had a rut of not seeing my friends and family as much as I used to. Even every time I breathe. But actually, I am not. I feel like I just need an explanation. I cannot move on without an understanding.
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